We have all been there, that early stage of falling in love. That giddy feeling of contentment. We feel high, unbalanced, happy. The world looks brighter, we smile at everyone. We can’t stop talking about our love interest. We don’t sleep, and surprisingly, we don’t feel like eating either. As songs have said “you swoon you sigh can’t deny it”.
So what’s with the not eating part? I remember years ago before my marriage and divorce, I could guarantee almost a 10 lb weight loss at the beginning of every relationship. I couldn’t explain it, I didn’t diet, but it happened. Having been an emotional eater my whole life, I have now found the explanation for this and it is called oxytocin. It is the feel good love hormone the brain produces when it is in love and happy.
Now for those of you who are like me, “mature men and women” (I prefer that to the “wow Mom you are sooooo old” line that my children say to me) we sit back and think to ourselves…”that is great to know but we are not about to go chasing a new love interest just to reach our diet goals”. We also can’t walk into our neighborhood pharmacy and order oxytocin with a side of giddiness thrown in for good measure and make it to go please.
So what can we do? First off, we can resolve to do something that makes us happy every day. In short, we can “fall in love” with ourselves.
You can start by getting up in the morning and no matter what you are doing, make an effort to look your best. This doesn’t mean that we need to get all overboard on getting ready in the morning and load up with makeup and hairgel. What it does mean though is that we make an effort to look attractive for ourselves every day. Knowing we look our best helps us to feel good about ourselves.
Set aside a bit of time each day to do something that we enjoy…fall in love with ourselves and explore who we are and what we enjoy. Have you been living your daily routine for so long that you don’t even know what makes you glow anymore? Spend 15 minutes a day discovering what you love and what lights you up. You can do this by meditating, journaling, being creative and brainstorming things that interest you.
Listen to your favorite music on the way to work, school or errands, leave the dreary and depressing news station off. I know that when I rock it driving to work, I arrive pumped, full of energy and surprisingly, giddiness.
Treat yourself like you would treat your best friend. Daily I hear people talk about why they put themselves last, in relationships, at work, with their families…they tell me that they can’t (or won’t) change this. I have heard them tell me it’s selfish to think of themselves. Yet really, if you cannot love and treat yourself with the same desire and respect that would give to someone else, are you really living a full and authentic life? Yes the voice in your head will initially scream at you, but if you tell it to hush, eventually your inner voice will become very quiet and will begin to shut up when you tell it to. We honestly treat ourselves worse than we would treat strangers we meet. We say mean things to ourselves that we would never say to someone else. We place expectations on ourselves that we would never place on another person. So Stop It. Make a plan for what to do, get help if necessary and stop it.
I have been on an incredible personal journey for the last four years. I am unrecognizable from who I was and I still have an exciting road ahead of me. Difference is, I am loving myself. In loving myself, I have attracted love and abundance into my life. I greet each morning with enthusiasm and joy. Of course, there is the matter of a sincere thank you to “D” for helping the process. Finally, I didn’t do it alone. I sought out personal development courses such as Landmark Education, Leadership and coach training, had people coach, guide and mentor me, and most recently am learning and being coached in Emotional Management by the auther of “Put Your Potatoes on Your Desktop”. I have decided to love myself enough to take the steps I need to succeed. I am not special or extraordinary. I am just like you and if I can do this, I know you can. Message me if you want any information. I would love to share my growth with you.
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