ipcoachz's Blog

A journey to health, wellness and gratitude


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What’s Missing in Your Life?

I recently shared and read the following article

https://www.yahoo.com/health/nearly-30-of-americans-who-have-diabetes-dont-know-it-103061080597.html

It really struck a chord with me.  So many of us are walking around not realizing how sick we may really be.  I was one of those people.  I chalked up all my health issues to “getting older”.  Sleep Apnea caused by obesity?  No way, not me.  I snored since I was a kid.  It just got worse as I aged.  Sore hips, knees and joints?  Doesn’t everyone get Arthritis when they age? Debilitating fatigue, well, didn’t all people sleep more as they age and talk about having no energy?  Depression?  Nah, it was because I was stressed and had lots going on.  High Blood Sugar?  Again, it was stress and everyone seemed to get this as they aged. None of these things had anything to do with my obesity.  How wrong I was.  We now know that obesity is the underlying factor in so many different diseases yet when we go to the doctor, we don’t get help for being obese, we get criticized and then we are given medication to take care of our “symptoms” such as high blood pressure, diabetes, arthritis.

I have also come to realize, while coaching people to their weight loss goals, that knowing everything they need to know about their health, their metabolic process and what it takes to take the weight off and keep it off, is not enough.  It is not even enough to have had bariatric surgery, despite claims to the contrary.  It comes down to not being able to fill what is missing in our lives.  When our lives are happy, full and complete, we no longer need to eat to fill a void.  We no longer desire things that make us feel terrible.  We no longer want to eat until we feel painfully “stuffed”. When we love ourselves and enjoy our lives, we take good care of ourselves.  When that void is yawning though, it calls for comfort, and we have used food to comfort ourselves since we have been babes at our mothers breast, so to speak.

So how do we find what’s missing?  What is it that is missing, the presence of which would make a profound difference in the way we interact with food and with ourselves?  In order to get to where we are no longer filling an empty void, we have to discover what lights us up and then go after it like there is nothing else that matters, because nothing else does matter. What we are doing and who we are being around what we are doing, determines what we have.  For example.  If we are dieting, and complaining and moaning about our deprivation, we will have weight loss with set backs and finally, the weight will return.  If we are eating healthy and being excited and loving about embracing a new lifestyle, we will have health and weight maintenance.  However, knowing this makes no difference.  It is still easier said than done.

I was lucky and am discovering what is and was missing in my life.  What was missing for me was self love.  I spent many years feeling lonely and unloved and I filled that emptiness with food.  I was not enough, so I sat alone, watching TV and eating.  I still struggle occasionally with self confidence and worthiness.  That nagging little voice will always be there.  The difference now, is I tell it to shut up and then I walk away from it. In time, it gets quieter and less frequent.  It may always be there but I get to choose whether or not I listen to it and let it run my life.

Some of us need to change our relationship with food in such a way that we cannot do it alone.  We need to get professional help.  This is not failure, this is not weakness.  This is triumph to take whatever steps we need to succeed at what our goals are.  The only failure we have is a failure to take any type of action. If one action doesn’t work, then find another.  The important thing is to keep moving.

The following link has some good information about emotional eating.  The information is good and if it sets you on the path to getting help, then it will be worth the read.

http://aweighout.com/about-emotional-binge-eating/emotional-compulsive-overeating/

I welcome any comments you may have or message me if I can help in any way,  Sometimes by sharing our journeys, we can support and help each other.  It meant a lot to me to know I was not alone and that my way of coping was something others had done.


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150 lbs Down…Why am I still feeling like a Fat Girl?

Here is me...150 lbs down

Here is me…150 lbs down

I want to share my success. I haven’t posted in a while and it is so exciting to be able to update everyone. I am officially 150 lbs down. It has been quite the experience and sometimes, the mind is still catching up with the body.

The other day I went into a store to buy some more clothing, as everything I own is, of course, too big. I picked out a sweater, (the one you see in the photo posted with this article) and I picked out a large and extra-large. The sales clerk told me “you don’t need a large or extra large dear. Here, try on this medium” I laughed and said okay but it will be too small. Low and behold, I tried it on and couldn’t believe it fit. I kept asking her if she thought it looked “to tight or too small”. When I shop, I still gravitate to the large sizes. I can’t seem to quite wrap my head around medium and small.

In the same way, I was talking to a friend who also lost a large amount of weight (over 100 lbs) and has kept it off for over 3 years. She shared with me that reading my posts had her jealous about my weight loss and thinking she needed to lose more. Then she saw the picture and the jacket I was wearing in the picture. That jacket was given to me by her and it fit her, just was uncomfortable in the shoulders because she works out and has developed good muscle definition. Looking at the photo and her former blazer, reminded her that she was fine the way she was and made her proud of her success.
So why does our mind take so long to get used to the fact that we are no longer “overweight”? I wonder if this is part of what causes us to not stick to maintaining a weight loss because we still see ourselves as “fat” and “less accomplished” than we truly are?

There is an interesting article about “Phantom Weight” and I post the link here

http://www.nbcnews.com/id/31489881/ns/health-womens_health/t/phantom-fat-can-linger-after-weight-loss/#.VMKLL_7F9nI

It touches on how weight loss and maintenance is more than just losing the weight.

In order to maintain weight loss, and to be healthy, we need to remember that the second and hardest part of our accomplishment begins when our weight loss ends. Therein lies the real work.  Losing weight is easy in comparison.  Now I don’t say that to discourage anyone, I say that to be realistic. If you think you can lose and then do what you were doing before…just remember the phrase “if you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always had”.  Going back to being the same person with the same exercise and eating habits is a 100% guarantee that the weight will find you again.  No diet or surgery is definitive as there is no vaccine against weight gain.  No matter how you choose to rid yourself of weight and become healthy, dis-ease and weight will return as soon as you return to the same old habits and lifestyle you had.

It is more than important, it is absolutely essential and vital that to keep weight off we must focus on changing lifestyle, changing our relationship with food, changing the food we put in our bodies, taking on exercise in a way we never did before, and most importantly, retraining our brain to see the slim, healthy, beautiful people we are every time we look in the mirror. We are worth all the effort. We are worth feeling good. We are worth being well and energetic. Does this mean that we can never enjoy some of the treats we did?  No, it just means that we only enjoy once a week in moderation and remember that for our bodies to stay healthy, we must give them the healthy and nutritious fuel they need for cells to regenerate and live.

My new morning mantra….”Good morning Gorgeous. You are awesome and today I love you enough to feed you properly and get you some exercise”.